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πŸ˜€ ’SATIRICAL’ PROMOTIONAL ANNOUNCEMENT πŸ˜€

MoMurder-na Harmaceuticals Presents: The VAER Y SCARY 19 VACCINE!!

β€œ100% Safe and Effective ... Until It’s Not!!β€œ

Are you tired of living a long, healthy life? Do you long for the excitement of a debilitating, mystery illness? Well, worry no more!! The VAER Y SCARY 19 VACCINE is here to shake things up!!

Straight from the brilliant minds who brought you opioid epidemics, thalidomide babies, and the food pyramid that made you diabetic, MoMurder-na is proud to offer you a vial of Holy Water designed to fortify your faith in modern medicine.

Side effects?? Only the BEST!! Here are the top 19 thrilling adverse events waiting for YOU and your family!!

🧘 Anaphylaxis - Because breathing is overrated

πŸ’• Myocarditis & Pericarditis - Give your heart that warm, inflated feeling!!

πŸš‘ Thrombosis with Thrombocytopenia Syndrome (TTS) - Clots? Low platelets? Why not both?!!

🦽 Guillain-Barre Syndrome (GBS) - Who needs mobility when you have compliance?

πŸ’‰ Severe Allergic Reactions - Let's see if your EpiPen works!!

🀸 Seizures - A great way to shake up your nervous system!!

β€οΈβ€πŸ©Ή Stroke - A stroke of bad luck, but hey, safe and effective!!

β€οΈβ€πŸ©Ή Heart Attack - Because nothing says protection like cardiac arrest!!

πŸŽ‰ Pulmonary Embolism - Breathe deep ... if you still can!!

πŸ™ˆ Deep Vein Thrombosis - A clot of fun for the whole family!!

πŸ₯³ Appendicitis - Appendix?? Who needs one anyway?

πŸ™‡ Intestinal Obstruction - Your gut instincts were right to be afraid!!

πŸš‘ Kawasaki Disease - Vroom vroom!! Straight to the pediatric ward!!

πŸ”₯ Multisystem Inflammatory Syndrome in Children (MIS-C) - The kids are NOT alright!!

🧏 Bell’s Palsy - When your compliance shows ... on only half your face!!

Transverse Myelitis - For those with backbone!!

πŸ‘€ Optic Neuritis - Who needs eyesight when you have blind faith?

πŸ₯ Autoimmune Disorders - Your body’s new hobby? Attacking itself!!

β˜ οΈπŸ’‰β˜ οΈπŸ’‰ Death - R.I.P.

Worried? DON’T BE!!

The ’safe and effective’ data was carefully curated, massaged, and retroactively adjusted by esteemed experts in white coats - the same ones who promised you that cigarettes were good for your throat and DDT was safe to spray on your kids!!

And if the ’science’ isn't enough to calm you down, don't worry!! We've got free Happy Meals waiting for you and your loved ones - post jab!! πŸ’‰β˜ οΈπŸ‘ Because nothing says ’trust the science’ like an over-processed burger and fries served with a side of coercion!!

CLOSING JINGLE

(To the tune of a cheerful ad γƒΌ think McDonald’s but sinister!!)

β€œGet the shot, don't ask why!!

Ignore the deaths γƒΌ comply, comply!!

It’s VAER Y SCARY, but don't you stress...

Side effects mean it works the best!!β€œ

Narrator: MoMurder-na Harmaceuticals γƒΌ β€œIf you survive the first dose, we’ve got boosters lined up just for you!!β€œ

🚨Warning: Some customers may experience buyer’s remorse, loss of bodily autonomy, or sudden urges to question authority. If symptoms of critical thinking persist, please consult your nearest fact-checker. 🚨

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Gwyneth's avatar

Oh my god, my sister and I are beside ourselves with laughter. I don't think I have ever read anything so brilliantly sarcastic and yet, so tragically true.

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Factscinator's avatar

HUGE THANKS for the positive feedback!! MASSIVELY APPRECIATED!! πŸ’•πŸ‘πŸŽ‰

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Another WorldView Is Possible's avatar

πŸ˜‚ - great work.

As for Myocarditis - Jimmy Dore has been saying that "your heart will be 'swelling with pride', because of taking the 'vaccines'".

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Factscinator's avatar

Profound heartfelt thanks!! πŸ’•β€οΈβ€πŸ©ΉπŸš¨πŸ‘

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GD's avatar

A couple to add:

Fertile issues because your extra bleeding makes you feel like a lady.

Your liver loves being pushed to the limits with extra enzymes.

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Factscinator's avatar

Brutal, yet true!!

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Ionedery2's avatar

The absurdity accentuates the degree of indoctrination so prevalent. Humor can cut through people's ridiculous posturing and underlying bias.

Sadly, some people seem to have no sense of humor whatsoever.

There's been so much harm, and that shouldn't be trivialized, but if we can laugh we can start to heal.

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Factscinator's avatar

πŸŽ―πŸŽ―πŸŽ―πŸ‘πŸ‘ AGREED!! Whole-inflammedγƒΌheartedly!!

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Vivien C Buckley's avatar

Excellent. I love sarcasm made me laugh. Thank you.

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Factscinator's avatar

MASSIVE THANKS!!

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Marty Ellenbecker's avatar

Did you steal a copy of what our regulators

propose for compliance with Nuremberg Code Informed Consent rules?

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Brandon is not your bro's avatar

Thank u 🌷

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Apapach-Arte's avatar

LNP-based prophylactic injections sounds like an oxymoron to me.

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Eric Turrell's avatar

Dr Jessica Rose 🌹 looking forward to it especially on IPAK EDU πŸ˜ŠπŸ‘ With a strong cup of coffee for sure β˜•οΈ

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FamilyDoc's avatar

Thank you for all that you are doing. Keep up the good work.

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Peter Sawchuk's avatar

I have no understanding of how vaccines function. Could you please explain to me how, if our T cell development is mostly in our epithelial layers, it makes sense to inject anything deeper than that epithelial layer? It would seem to me to make more sense to scratch the epithelial layer and introduce the vaccine there. What am I missing?

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PamelaDrew's avatar

"novel LNP-based prophylactic injection methodologies"

Nice way to back off the deceptive "vaccine" label but not say TRANSFECTION the decades old bench tool that produces Gain of Function aka transfected cell culture & keep confusion which obscures the crime of known lobotomy level crime & rebrand the insanity for IP cash cow.

https://web.archive.org/web/20150822064507/https://www.thermofisher.com/us/en/home/references/gibco-cell-culture-basics/transfection-basics.html

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GD's avatar

A couple to add:

Fertily because extra bleeding makes you feel like a lady.

Your liver loves being pushed to the limits with extra enzymes.

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Tip's avatar

Thank you for pressing on during this time when many are still not awake πŸ‡¨πŸ‡¦

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Shannon McArthur's avatar

I'm grateful that you've been designed to address issues like this. I appreciate your clarity of mind and of speech that enables you to require answers that you understand so you can help us understand. Thank you.

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Ray Kujawa's avatar

Where was this discussion in 2021? These were fatal flaws of the gene therapy injections on reflection. Especially the dosing problem amongst a cohort widely varying by age. It's why the mRNA shots would have likely been so much more dangerous to younger age groups as you get away from the original 'target' audience of 85 year olds. That is, if the primary effect of the shots is as it has been described, forgetting about problems of contamination and wide distribution of placebo doses. Yes, I'm sure you can find in some parts of the US (I'm looking at you, Seattle) areas where people will attest to the shots being "safe and effective." How significant is it to say that a placebo dose is safe and effective? It's meaningless. That shot producers knew they would have to mix in significant portions of placebo doses in with their output in order to mitigate against widespread anticipated side effects shows that they were aware of the unsafeness of their product.

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